Have you ever had the feeling you were circling the campfire but not going anywhere? Have you ever experienced making the same mistake again and again, wondering when you will ever learn the lesson so you can go forward? Have you ever told yourself “this time it will be better or different” but you end up at the same old place with the same old feelings of frustration, regret, or failure regardless of your intention and determination.
Well, welcome to the club of more-big-better-different which is the same old thing with just a different window dressing that somehow promises wonderful fulfilled secret dreams.
Albert Einstein summed this up as a definition of insanity--doing the same thing but expecting a different outcome.
However, there is a solution. A problem can not exist in the universe without there being a solution (law of physics). The solution may not be apparent or visible but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. Consider a glass of water that is half full or is it really half full? The law of physics would teach that the glass is filled with water and with air--the glass is full. The air needs to be displaced before you can get to the water to drink. You don’t see the air but it is there.
For change to occur in your life that will have lasting positive effects, your need a formula that is tried and true--not marketing hype-no promises of instant success- no flashy fanfare- Just honest, proven action that is time proven and is repeatable and works if you follow the guide.You can apply this to anything. It is based on true principles and not marketing hype or fantasy. I’ve told you what this isn’t but now I will tell you what it is:
Success lessons I was taught by my parents
Why do you ...(define what the issue is--what you dream about, what you want to change, what you want to achieve etc.) This is your Why action. Once you determine your why, It must be accompanied with specific written reasons that validate your why. For example, I want to lose 10 pounds to reduce stress on my lungs and heart so that I can play with my children without gasping for air or having to rest. I want the freedom to be engaged physically, mentally, and spiritually in life and not be a couch potato. I want to enjoy my life in its fullness and not just be a spectator.
What are your specific actions that will support your why reasons. For example, I will remove all incoming sources of sugar from my eating habits. I will read food labels and choose better sources that do not have sugar or different forms of sugar added to the food. I will remove all sugar laden foods from my kitchen.
When is when will you begin without any excuses or rationale for not starting your why.
For example, I will begin today because today is the only time that really exists. Tomorrow is in the future. II will take action now.
Being specific and detailed in your written support actions will help remove those self sabotaging nagging little thoughts and temptations. Such as “just eating one cookie really won’t hurt. I’ve already lost 2 pounds.” No one will know if I cheat; after all I’m only human. Remember, the intelligence of your cells will know and your previous habits will convince you to quit. Then the guilt, blame, or feeling like a failure will show up.
Because life does come at us and there are times when resolve or self discipline waver, my parents also taught me additional actions to take to get right back on track.
- Recognize what you did and respond to the action without an excuse or justification. Wright down the self sabotaging action and your excuse.
- Repent and acknowledge what you did and then return to your goal
- Reflect on your feelings and renew or redo your why. Make adjustments if needed for more defined actions to take to avoid repetition of falling into the same trap. Be kind to yourself--no beating yourself up--but also be firm and go forward.
My parents always supported our “why? They encouraged questions and encouraged us to explore possibilities for solutions. They never made fun, scolded or embarrassed us as we went through the many stages of growing up. They did require commitment, responsibility for our actions and always following through with what we agreed to do. My mother was a white glove inspector. She never allowed a sloppy job or a mediocre approach. She always inspected our work or actions and if it didn’t measure up it was repeated until it did measure up. I learned at a very young age that life comes with consequences. There is no free lunch. If you don’t do your homework, you won’t pass the tests of life. Live life to its fullest, enjoy life, and give thanks and gratitude for your life and what you have. These were the examples my parents taught and lived by.
Dr. Janeel Henderson